Further Complications...

     The hits just keep on coming with this virus.  Among the casualties of this plague are the thousands of graduation ceremonies that will be irreparably altered striking grief and loss into the hearts of many.  Perspective is so hard!  People who have kids who are class of 2020 have an entirely different layer of trauma with this plague than the rest of us.  This would be the same with other life milestones people are losing out on like weddings (I do know someone who had to postpone their wedding), burying loved ones who have passed away (know some of those, too). These are all those extra things in addition to health risks people are facing.  It is so hard to be empathetic when you don't understand someone else's struggle because you aren't personally experiencing it.  Inevitably whatever you say to the person will sound insensitive.  

     Just like school Board members all over the state & country, I'm being put through the wringer with parents upset over graduation.  We have a phenomenal Board with a great diversity of perspectives, and a vice president who's a perfect fit for being the Board representative on the graduation planning team.  Unfortunately, though, this crisis has come to a head with the latest state released guidelines for safety and elimination of mass gatherings.  No one is able to process the ramifications.  Everyone is on emotional overload.  It has pretty much become impossible to appear as though you "care" to someone going through the trauma of this reality.  The stages of grief are setting in for these families.

     We can't fix it, and we can't make people feel better.  I just finished Brene Brown's Dare to Lead where she focuses an entire section on empathy.  The rules are hard!  All you really should do is try to support the person by being present with them...but not try to do anything.  You can say, "this is awful!" but don't tell them "I know how you feel" - because you don't.  Don't try to one up them either, with a story of your own tragedy.  That's even worse.  Just. Be. There.  Until you try to do it you really have no idea how freaking HARD that is.  Not try to solve it, not try to make it better.  Just let the person feel their pain, quietly, and be there with them - not saying or doing anything (unless you can hand them a cup of tea or a tissue or something.  That would be good).  But now - to express empathy virtually???  We have to really get creative here, folks!  Careful on the emojis, not too cute, not too maudlin...you get the idea.  How do you "just be there" when you can't (literally) just be "there"?  Think on this...comments and suggestions welcome.

    On a final note, I did have an epiphany today...one that made me really happy about the human race.  If we had to have a quarantine and masses of people sick and dying, I am extremely grateful that the suffering is at the hand of nature and not man.  Had it been a genocide, a war, or a man-made nuclear disaster, it could've been prevented.  May we remember that we, as humans, have the power to help one another.  God Bless!