Navigating DC with "the Boy"

Visiting Washington DC is one of Matt's and my favorite things! We brought Ben once when he was still a toddler. Much easier then, he didn't know enough to resist anything. Well, except for sleeping in the hotel room. He resisted that - to the tune of screaming at 2am with us cuddling him between us in the bed praying we don't get kicked out. Fast forward several years and here we are. Things Ben loved: The Metro, the Zoo, running around on the mall with his Uncles, cousins and a frisbee. Ben loved the trains and ships in the American History Museum, he loved seeing the monuments and his favorite was sneaking leftover french fries to the ducks in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

As long as we were doing one of these things, life was good! However, we didn't do these things constantly, so when we were say, at the African American History Museum, which required advance tickets I booked over a month ahead because they're so hard to get, Ben complained. He didn't just complain, he ran ahead, yelled, bumped into people and essentially destroyed the somber ambiance necessary to experience the exhibits. We tried really hard to keep him from impacting others' experiences, and mostly we did. I do not regret taking him there, though. If for no other reason I was able to get him to sit at the interactive touch screen counter where he could select images to view from marches, school integrations, lunch counter sit-ins, and other activism activities. Sadly, as we know from History - real life history, not watered down nonsense I was "taught" in school, that participating in any of those activities could be life-ending. As Ben gazed at the photos he turned his head away several times saying, "I just can't look! It's just so brutal!"

Profoundly serious point here to take to heart

Some (many) people are all about "protecting" children from the atrocities of racial segregation and slavery, and what possible good comes from ignoring horrific pasts? Do we pretend the Holocaust didn't happen? Some people love pretending Slavery didn't happen, claiming innocence by way of "I never owned slaves, I didn't have anything to do with it." [therefore everyone must never speak of it or anything else that may make me uncomfortable] because it's in the past.

Not this Momma

So when Ben turned his head stating, "It's so brutal!" I gently placed my hands on the side of his head, turned him toward the photo and whispered in his ear, "yes, my darling, it was horribly brutal, and it must never happen again, but we must look! We must see, and we must know. We dishonor the struggle if we do not engage and learn about it. We dishonor the memories of those who died when we refuse to look. We must take it all in, every difficult part of it, so that we can be a better country today. That moment meant something, and I pray he never forgets it. So lessons learned is that if you are taking a child into Washington DC (specifically one with Autism), do figure out what they will enjoy and interspurce those highlights throughout your trip. If possible, and you're travelling with children, plan your whole trip dedicated to sights and experiences kids will love. We knew what Ben did and didn't care for, which is why we went to the American History museum instead of the Natural History Museum, which is usually a child's preference. For Ben the giant steam locomotive was his joy. No Art museums this trip - none. Just not worth the hassle with Ben, BUT, when he goes away to church camp next summer or the year after, Matt and I know for sure what is on our "to do" list in Washington DC.